Chapter 56

Huiheng rarely asked his view; she was better at guessing than at talking, with enough delicacy of heart and enough wit of mind to support relating to her family in that mode — yet on this question she chose to speak.

Zhuo Siheng too told her truly, in an earnest tone: "In fact Father once asked me a similar question — he asked how I looked back on the affair of those years... A-Hui, you too are a woman; if you married and became a wife, would you then no longer be of the Zhuo bloodline? You and I are no different. We share the same source-blood of kin, hold memories of taking joy at the same parents' knee, have read the same books, and, with the brushwork taught by one man, write out the same surname — none of this changes with marrying in or out; family is family."

An unprecedented tremor rose from the depths of Huiheng's heart; though she listened with head raised, within was as a mountain-roar and sea-surge, and she nodded, forcing her composure.

"By the same principle — because Third Aunt married into the Zhuo family, was she then no longer of the Jiang bloodline? Should her parents and brother have had, alive, to suffer this pain of flesh-and-blood parting? She is Third Uncle's wife, but also Elder and Madam Jiang's daughter, and Lord Jiang's sister. This was the answer I gave Father back then." Zhuo Siheng said.

"But she is also Third Sister's and Fourth Brother's mother..." Huiheng bit her lip, and, as if mustering courage, said: "In their eyes, she is, after all, the one who abandoned them..."

"That's why we can't decide for them." Zhuo Siheng's voice grew the firmer: "We must let them choose themselves whether to accept and forgive, or to hold to not understanding, not agreeing — even to not caring and saying nothing; we two shouldn't put in a word to urge them. This is a state of heart they must face and settle themselves; we can make the chance, but must not use our siblings' trust in us to exercise that chance for them."

"Elder Brother, I overthink at times, yet every time I hear you speak my heart opens wide." Huiheng's words came like pearls, the smile returning to her face.

Zhuo Siheng and Huiheng looked at each other and smiled: "Sister, people are just so; I don't always have a foolproof plan and an unclouded heart at the ready — the more so when it touches my own kin; I'm surely more anxious and troubled than I look."

"Father taught: one settled in nature is ever strong. Elder Brother has seemed mild and steady since childhood; I still remember the day Third Aunt came to have Father write out the widow's petition to leave — Elder Brother's soft sighs never ceased, yet on his face he stayed meek and calm and said not a word; to this day, facing the same person and the same matter, you're the same still, your nature not shifted a hair."

Zhuo Siheng was taken aback, and thought — that's not right — and hurried to ask: "But I remember I coaxed you to sleep that day?"

Huiheng winked slyly and made a hush gesture: "The one who can put on a false front and hide things in our family isn't only Elder Brother."

...

While Huiheng and Zhuo Siheng talked here, over there Ciheng watched Xiheng pack his trunk to return to the academy.

The two said not a word, one watching, one moving, and so a good while passed.

Bored, Ciheng looked out the window at the wutong tree transplanted just the spring before last; in the tenth month its deep-gold palm-leaves danced blurred and forlorn in the moonlit night, giving off a sparse, faint clear light.

Looking back at Xiheng, he'd nearly finished packing and was giving it a last check.

"Where's that sachet I made you for clearing the head?" she asked in passing. "You've changed the medicine-core for a fresh one, haven't you?"

"It broke in the first ten-day; the medicine spilled all over the trunk." Xiheng said.

Ciheng knew her own needlework was wretched, her stitches coarse and gapped, and could only say: "When autumn's over and Sister's health is better, have her sew you another..."

The room fell quiet again; a long, long while, and Xiheng suddenly said: "Third Sister, you do still remember her, don't you?"

Ciheng's knife-like gaze fell on her unruffled brother, scraping him up and down, her round eyes like two black-bright fire-pellets fit to bore two holes through him: "What do you want me to say?"

Xiheng said mildly: "What I want to hear doesn't matter, because to me she's only a stranger and I feel nothing at all; but you're troubled over it."

"Just a little." Ciheng was frank enough; in this family there was nothing she could hide anyway — brother and sisters all sharp as tacks. She pillowed her head on her hand and said quietly: "Not so much troubled as... I miss Father and Mother a bit."

"In truth Third Sister knows it all in her heart: we're not pitiable ones without father and mother." Xiheng gazed with Ciheng out at the wutong and the moon: "We've in fact always been very happy."

Ciheng understood her brother's meaning: happy people needn't waste time on hatred; the existence of Zhuo Yan and Song Liangyu left this world owing her nothing. At the thought, she was suddenly seized with an elder-sister's spirit, and stood up: "Tomorrow I'll go fetch you another head-clearing medicine; make do wrapping it in paper for now, and when you come back at the next ten-day I'll sew you a new sachet."

"This time trouble Sister to sew it tight." Xiheng said, and smiled.

...

This autumn, storm and all, the Zhuo family passed as warm and easeful as ever; the one big event was that just as winter came on, before the New Year, Zhuo Siheng added another servant to the household.

The Zhuo family had always had only three servants: Widow Chai, over the kitchen and the rough inner-court work; Ahuan, over the sweeping and washing and the close small tasks for Huiheng and Ciheng; and Fu Ji, over all the carriages and horses for going out. The three weren't like the servants of great mansions — they were hired hands on the Zhuo family's papers. But this one Zhuo Siheng had sought out was the first servant with an indenture of sale.

This man was called Chen Rong, a house-servant Zhuo Siheng had bought from the Office of Compassion. The Office of Compassion was where the Ministry of Justice held the innocent kin implicated by criminals; back in the day the Zhuo family's women and children had been held there. Chen Rong's father had been a runner of the Tribute-Tea Bureau, in charge of escorting tribute tea into the capital. His father had no rank, yet was drawn into a case of theft-by-the-guard early in the year: a brazen tea-officer of the Tribute-Tea Bureau had secretly colluded with bandits to rob the tribute tea, then reported it stolen, and split and sold the tea privately with the bandits.

Such conduct all but amounted to contempt for imperial authority; the guilty officers were all clan-executed and beheaded, and Chen Rong's father, one of the escort on that run, was implicated and beheaded too, the family all confiscated into the Office of Compassion and sent off to be sold as slaves. Chen Rong's grandmother, already past seventy, couldn't bear the ordeal and died of illness; Chen Rong, just thirteen — a year younger than Xiheng — was reduced to bondage and put up for sale by the Office of Compassion.

"Could it be Elder Brother pities him?"

Seeing Zhuo Siheng lead Chen Rong into the cool-pavilion to talk, Ciheng couldn't help asking her sister.

Huiheng tucked a stray fine hair back at her ear for her and smiled: "The Office of Compassion sells off official slaves beyond counting all year round; which of them couldn't tell a tale of misery all their own? Why did Elder Brother buy this one in particular?"

Ciheng pondered a while, and still shook her head: "Sister, just tell me! I'm worst of all at these roundabout things!"

Huiheng lightly tapped her forehead, yet still, smiling, drew out a sheet of paper and handed it over: "Look — this is that boy Chen Rong's indenture of sale."

"What's there to look at on this..." Ciheng took it and skimmed it roughly: "Isn't it just registry and status and such? The characters are tiny, with fingerprints and a signature..."

"Do you treat a patient with this little care too?" Huiheng said, helpless and laughing.

"That, of course not — a life in one's hands, one must be careful and careful again!" Ciheng proudly recited the first lesson Doctor Rong had taught her.

"Then how is it you can't put a little more care into these written things?" Huiheng's slender finger lightly tapped the registry on Chen Rong's indenture: "Look — where is this?"

"Luling County, Anhua Commandery, Jinzhou..." Ciheng at first read it drawn-out, but reading to the end went quiet and blinked: "Isn't this... the prefecture Elder Brother might be posted to?"

Huiheng wore the look of one wearily coaxing a pupil along, and said patiently: "I imagine Elder Brother has read all the books he could and searched out what they hold on Anhua Commandery, and ought now to ask someone who's actually lived there just what sort of place it is — to plan ahead of the rain, to know the whole from a small sign; so it should be done."

"Elder Brother really is something! To think of even this! I doubt those other officials could be so diligent." Ciheng wished Zhuo Siheng were there just then to hear her praise and praise her back in turn.

Huiheng felt perhaps the time had come to speak of the elder brother's posting, and took Ciheng's hand: "A-Ci, let me ask you — have you ever thought of marrying?"

Ciheng at once pulled her hand back, wary: "What! You haven't married yourself — no testing me! And besides, doesn't our family not go in for nagging and forcing marriage?"

Eighteen though she was — an age at which most girls of ordinary families were already betrothed and awaiting the wedding — at one question from Zhuo Siheng, Ciheng had righteously declared she'd follow her sister, and so the matter had never been raised.

Huiheng seemed much to admire this answer of her sister's, and, unoffended, said: "Good; since you're of that mind, let me ask you again — would you be willing to go with Elder Brother to Lingnan, to see something of the world and the realm's fine rivers and mountains?"

"That's far more fun than marrying! Of course I would. But isn't our whole family to follow Elder Brother to his post? Why do you ask me this extra question, Sister?" Broad-hearted as Ciheng was, she felt something off in the question.

"Because Fourth Brother and I likely won't be going." Huiheng lowered her brows and said softly.

"Why?" Ciheng was startled.

"The academy Fourth Brother attends, Elder Brother went to great pains to get him into; he's already gained fine, subtle learning at Xiongya Academy — Elder Brother would never let him quit halfway."

Ciheng nodded, listening.

"But with Fourth Brother alone in the capital for his studies, coming home on his ten-day and holiday breaks, the household can't have only him. What's more, now that Elder Brother goes to a post away, many friendships and ties in the capital still need keeping up; if there's news from the court's center, there must still be reliable family to help pass it along — that's my unshirkable duty."

Ciheng nodded too, feeling it made good sense; put that way, only she, free of ties, was the fittest to go along.

"But if you go with Elder Brother, I fear he'll have to spend effort looking after you. Anhua Commandery isn't the capital; everything is scarce there. Though we siblings have come all this way through the greatest hardships and don't fear that, Elder Brother may face difficulties and turns of officialdom he's never met, and can't and mustn't be distracted. Have you the resolve to go brave these three years' hard pass with him?"

Huiheng's words wholly kindled Ciheng's surging spirit; competitive and bold by nature, hearing this she felt no difficulty at all, but rather that her sister thought her grown and was entrusting her a heavy charge, and said with great pride: "Of course! Not only can I share Elder Brother's cares and troubles — if he takes a fever or a chill, I'm not wholly useless either. As for the rest, Sister needn't worry; with me there, no household matter will trouble Elder Brother in the midst of his busyness!"

Hearing this, starlight seemed to flicker thread by thread in Huiheng's eyes; she stroked her sister's cheek and praised: "Good sister, how many girls long and long for such a wide-open sky and never get it; now you needn't be hemmed in the strait of a bad match, and can, for the sake of your sister — who has no such worry but has other duties — go see the fine scenery of our dynasty's tamed south, the land at the realm's southern edge! Only remember one thing: if in some place of strange mountains and lovely waters you meet some fine, admirable young man, be sure to tell Elder Brother and let him decide for you — for a good marriage, like good experience of the world, is a thing one may chance upon but cannot force."